Raising Good Kids Together

When there are two parents raising the kids, it is very helpful for both parents to have a united front. If you don’t take charge as a couple, kids are smart and they will play one parent against the other.

What is really important to both of you?

·      Make a date with your spouse

·      Ask each other: “What things do you value?” “What kind of kids do you want to raise?” “Twenty years from now what are you hoping your kids will say about you?”

·      Think about your family and answer the question, “We are the kind of Family who…”

Questions from Dr. Lynne Kenney's, The Family Coaching Method. Available through this link.

Make parenting decisions together

·      Decide and write down what the family rules are. Try to stay at about 5 rules.

·      Agree on how you will enforce these rules.

·      You are the parents. Together, you build the foundation of the home.

Don’t undermine the other parent

·      When your child asks you for something, make sure they are not “parent shopping.” Ask your spouse if they said no already. Support what the other parent said.

·      Don’t disagree with your partner about discipline in front of your kids (unless what they have said puts your child in danger.)

·      Talk to your spouse, after the kids are in bed. Tell them how you feel and why you don’t agree with the way things were handled.

·      Then come up with a plan you both can agree on.

·      This one was hard for me! Be flexible. Your way is not the only way. If you are in a committed relationship, parenting is about taking the journey together!